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chit chat....

“Get ready, I am on the way to pick u up”, I called Mus (not the real name) who worked with one of the biggest risk underwriter. I came back to find an empty home. Everybody had left for the Disney on Ice show at Bukit Jalil. I was stressed from work and hungry and needed a companion. I had not showered and had just taken dinner, said Mus whom had just got home from work too.

I’ll be there in 10minutes, I know you can eat somemore, I insisted and left home to pick him up. We went to a cosy restaurant in Damansara Height and I ordered the simplest but fastest meal on the menu, the Spaghetti Bolognese whilst he went straight for the crème breule dessert.

The place was packed with mostly expatriate and the service was good. We sat and talked nonsense for the first half an hour while waiting for the food. We wondered the possibility of Anwar losing the Permatang Pauh Election and if only we could cast our one vote each to ensure victory. I figured he is a strong PKR supporter. I merely wanted PKR to win the federal government to wipe out redundant UMNO politician. If PKR win, I am sure a new breed of UMNO supporters will surface. This is a much needed move.

My hot spaghetti Bolognese arrived and I cleared it all up in less than 5 minutes! So hungry was I. Mus is still slowly having his dessert. Interestingly, he, who is 3 years younger than me, wanted to retire now… of course if he wins a lottery. How much is enough to retire? I asked in curiosity. I never thought of retiring. In fact, I can never imagine myself without any work. Work has taken more than half my life away, running after a dream that I pray will come true. I had never asked myself that question. What do I want to do on retirement? Mus said his ultimate dream is to do nothing. He wants to be able to choose his daily option of not doing anything. In fact, Mus said smilingly, his biggest achievement for the day is when he can spend the whole day doing nothing.

I was taken aback. I never thought of it that way. True that luxury is no longer valued in money. Luxury is valued more of the time that you have at your disposal. But I would want more time to enable me to do more work or to do all in my wish list. I never thought of having the time to do nothing. Interesting I thought of Mus’s unique thought. I sipped my ice cold water whilst he had his wine apple cocktail. If ever, he wants to stay home and do nothing, he must have at least huge amount of cash stashed away somewhere. How much money is enough for whatever anyone wants to do when he retires, now or later?

Mus called for the menu and ordered a few more from the menu. See, I knew you could eat more. You just love to eat, I teased. I lost had 12 pounds in weight and I deserve a treat, Mus laughed while justifying his appetite.

There was a time when you will be recorded as one of the richest man when you are a millionaire. Now, millionaires are merely an ordinary public. You are wealthy when you are a billionaire. But Mus’s target was not to be a billionaire or millionaire, he just want to retire doing nothing. How much money is needed for anyone to do nothing and without having to worry about anything and to be able to feed his children?

I want to give that option to my children too, added Mus although he is not married yet. I want my children to be able to choose if they want to work or stay home and do nothing. Wow.. I didn’t see this extension of do-nothing for the children.

I have known Mus since he became a risk underwriter 6 years ago. He is bubbly, creative and perfectionist in his own way and forever finding the fastest solution to get his work done… and then spent the whole day (at work or wherever) doing nothing. Smart. I guess this is another quick solution to his perfect life. But… really… truthfully… I never thought of retirement. There are so much to do and so little time. Maybe I should be thinking of what I really want to do when I retire too………….

Short of licking our plates, we both cleared all the food we ordered. I wonder if the food was really delicious or maybe we were starving. I called for the bill, paid and left to sent Mus back home.
I should be doing some calculation of how much i need to retire and what i want to do when i retire i thought to myself while driving home. is that the right way? or should i or anyone just draw the line and just retire at a certain age with whatever the accomplishment?

Death is an understatement

I spoke to Z a moment ago to see how she is coping. Her husband suffered from a burst capillary in the brain and is physically paralysed and lost his ability to speak. Her husband is undergoing speech therapy and had to go through physiotherapy to walk. Nikki, the husband is in his early thirties and was an active gym member.

A few months ago, he collapsed while walking alone in Bukit Bintang Road, Kuala Lumpur. A passerby found him and brought him to the Kuala Lumpur Hospital and the doctor had to perform a brain surgery immediately to save him.

I knew Nikki through Nawal. Niki was a friend to Nawal first when they were both active with RPM classes almost twice a day at the Fitness First back in 2004. Nikki is a fun and outgoing guy.

I am still at the office clearing out my IN-tray that was left in a mess when I sacked my personal assistant for criminal breach of trust but that is a story for another occasion. I sat alone after talking to Z and wondered if there is any assurance in life at all. I have known Nikki for his fanatical enthusiasm at the gym. He exercised regularly although he looked abit overweight and is always smiling and laughing. For a healthy, cheerful and stress-free guy, a stroke-like attack is out of the equation.

But it happens. What could be worse than death? Is it better to have a sudden death or to survived being handicap? I have survived a nightmare being given 3 years to live but hey, at least I know my predicament is perhaps only for 3 years. What if I survived a sickness but without being able to talk or walk or without even any memory or the ability to eat or drink.

I cannot even imagine being in Nikki’s shoe and can only imagine the pain that Z is going through. I feel for both of them and pray for Nikki’s condition to improve.

Thank you

I have received a lot of congratulatory, love as well as good luck letters, cards and gifts from anonymous, sincere friends as well as many that I have not met. I appreciate those sweet thoughts, time and the efforts taken to write and to sent me those letters, cards and gifts. I am touched by your sweet encouraging words as well as the compilations of news paper cuttings, magazines and articles about me with some dated all the way back in 1990.

I have to admit that I have lost many of the newspaper articles and most of the magazine articles dated pre-1996 and those compilations meant a lot me. I am grateful to Siti Zuraidah of Sekinchan, Selangor.

I would also like to apologize for writing in English. My English is certainly not the best but my Malay writing is worse. We always speak English or Kelantanese dialect at home but never a proper BM. Kelantanese dialect is really foreign and those who has never heard of Kelantanese dialect would never understand it. My friend Jak called Kelantanese dialect as German.

Ironically, my mum was a Malay language teacher during her teaching days but I did not take the SPM exam and did not study Malay language after SRP. I took GCSE, UK. So my malay writing really sucks.

My apology for not being able to name all those that wrote to me since the 1990s and my apology too for not replying. The truth is, I do not know how to reply in Malay language but I understand it well. Thank you for never giving up in writing. Your letters, cards and emails had inspired me to battle through tough and challenging times.

The newspaper cuttings, magazines articles as well as some cards and letters that were sent to me will be published in my book that I hope to launch it next year.

Thank you all for the kind words, sweet thoughts, never-ending encouragement and for remembering me.


It was at 1226am when I realized that it was way past my bedtime to be ready for tomorrow’s King of the road race in Shah Alam. I should have at least 8 hours of sleep on the eve of any race to be able to run smoothly. I bought an external 320gb hard drive earlier today and was glued clearing out files to increase the performance of my notebook and time just flew.

I had not packed or prepare my race kit and attire for tomorrow but looking at the time, I left my notebook to bed. I slept the moment my head touches the pillow and cursed at the sudden ringing noise just a moment after falling asleep... It was my alarm!!! Its already 430am. It felt only a few minutes that I got into bed and it was already 430am.

Short of freaking out, I jumped out of bed when I remembered I had not search and prepare everything from my running vest, short, ipod, race number, shoe, my polar watch, water bottle belt to the water bottle. I overheard Nita calling my name from outside. Both Abu and Nita had arrived. They will go with us to the race venue since my sense of direction sucks.

After a good bowel relieved, we headed to Shah Alam. Me, nawal, Emi, Abu and Nita are all excited to run especially since this is the first race that Nita is participating and Emi, my sister’s longest distance run. Dato Fadhil and Datin Azura had already left.

We reached Shah alam at 615am. The race will start at 645am. I pre-selected my choice of song mixture on my ipod and switched on my polar distance tracker that was fix on my shoe. We were fascinated with the title ADIDAS KING OF THE ROAD RACE and had high expectation. The total turn up is more than 8,000 runners.

Tan Sri Khalid Ibrahim, the Chief Minister of Selangor pointed the old revolver up and pose for the camera… typical politician. I hit my ipod and my polar the soonest Tan Sri blew the gun signalling the start of the race. Everybody were pushing sprinting even at the start of the race.

My ipod played the Bollywood song that I took from nawal’s bollywood dance class and went slow at start to warm myself up ignoring the Kenyan, Indian and the professional athlete whom were sprinting like a horse. My body felt heavy and my heart rate was beating fast. I had 4 power gels and my water bottle to feed energy throughout the race.

I paced myself slow at the speed of 7.2 (thank you polar) but my heart rate was 156. I wanted to go faster but decided to pace myself at 156 heart beat per minute.

I ran enjoying the shah alam 'greens' and the Bollywood music. An hour later, Nana ran with me for a short moment. We chatted while running until I met Nawal. Nawal was down with bad stitches and could not run. I was feeling good and felt that my body was all warmed up for a speedier run. I increased my pace to the speed of 8.5, my heart beat was 162.

There were a lot of hills and I loved it. I love the run up hill but slowed my paced down-hill. I learn from my previous mistake. Running down hill will injure the knee. I was in great thirst and was delighted to see the next water station. I had been running for 1 hour and 30mins. I ration the water in my race bottle to last me for 15 km and will always re-fill the water on the 15th km @ the water station. That has always been my training routine.

I was flabbergasted to find there were no glass at the water station and there were only one big bottle of 100 plus that is half full. I deliberated if I wanted to drink from the bottle. Thinking that the bottle had been shared with other people and the thought of hepatitis, herpes and other diseases that could be passed from a shared bottle, I took a rain check and ran without any water. Be patient, there will be other water station ahead, I whispered to myself.

Short of screaming, I was furious to discover the next water station was already closed without any water or any marshals. It was less than 2 hours, 1 hour 56mins to be exact since the race started and there were no water at all for 2 water stations already. This is really FXXX. Adidas is an internationally recognise brand and I expect nothing less from an Adidas sponsored event!

I continue running and was cursing the organiser all the way. I was fortunate to have my water race bottle along. The water slowly depleted as I sip slowly to last me the whole event. I can only imagine how other runners are suffering without water.
Nana ran past me at the last km just before the roundabout. I gave chased and was behind her. This was Nana's longest distance run too. She is Emi's friend. We gave a high-5 and sprinted across the finishing line together. I completed the race in 2 hours 49minutes. This was the worse organised event. Runners could die or fainted from dehydration. I have not been to a such poorly organised event. The marshals too, that was not well briefed & trained, were impatiently waiting for the whole event to finished. There were no sporting spirits at all.

Beside the FXXX organisers, the weather was excellent. There were no sun when I completed the race and burnt a good 2620 calories (thank you again to polar watch). For RM25 registration fee and without any water, and poorly coordinated marshals, this will be my last ADIDAS RUN. There is no pride running the KING OF THE ROAD when the organisers behave like a PAUPER being stingy even with water!!!!!! Thumbs down to SHAH ALAM COUNCIL, ADIDAS and the organising team!!!!

when peace dissappear, there is only faith..

Taman Tun Dr Ismail or TTDI was my playground back in the 80s during my teens. Although i lived in SS3 Kelana Jaya then, i would cycle all the way to TTDI daily to meet friends. BMX was the hip then. I was attached to my BMX more than even my girlfriend then.... Eh... Okay thats not true... but the truth is, i love my bmx and would cycle and gather everyday at TTDI.

My closest friends then were Zarir, Edsimor and Syamreen. Both Zarir and Syamreen stayed in TTDI and so were my other BMX friends like Sofian muda, Sofian Mahmud, Kanai, Shahrun, Wailang etc. We would cycled and hang out until late night without any fear and we never did have any problem.

Those were the good old days... of Taman Tun Dr Ismail, 60000, KL.

My brother came back from london for summer holiday last month. Barely a month later, he was attacked @ TTDI. It happened last week on Wednesday, after he had supper with a group of friends at Mosin, TTDI. As he drove home after supper, at the traffic light infront of VADS (or previously known as IBM building), an unknown black car speeded, rammed and knocked his car from the rear. He was beaten up, slashed with parang and left bleeding unconscious by the road side. My brother did not know the 4 assailants whom attacked him and could not remember the black car registration number.

He was tormented, sustained major bruises and a 12 inch long wound on his back. There were no injuries on his face, head or the front of his body except for the back. Meaning, he was pushed and attacked when he was lying down on his front. Fortunately it was a Parang and does not require any stitches as the wound would be deeper if it was a knife. My brother drove my dad’s red MG that is now badly damaged. I am more devastated to learn that there was neither any bystander that helped or any eye witness that came forward. My brother’s friend arrived at the scene 10 minutes later, found him lying on the tarmac by the roadside unconscious. This incident was kept away from my mum’s knowledge and I trust that the reader will not discuss it with her or any of my sisters (if you know them) to avoid any unnecessary stress. My mum does not use the internet and it is unlikely that she will read this blog. If anyone has any information about the incident, please contact me.

Last night, 6 men with guns went to my neighbour’s house mistaken it for my dad's. They drove a van and confronted my neighbour’s Gurkha guard. One of the 6 men, showed his gun that is secured on his waist and asked the guard to cooperate. He asked the guard if the house belong to the “Dato with an aeroplane whose son always goes out at night (presumably my brother)”. The guard denied and said that the house belongs to somebody else. Upon realizing it was the wrong house, they left. My neighbour called and informed my dad the next day.

It may or may not be related but I am not discounting the fact that someone is trying to hit my family too. I was once warned, when I first launched the Fasfik establishment, that car workshop is Chinese dominant and the Chinese do not negotiate, they kill their competitors. I am neither racist nor do I believe in this remark but I am taking extra precaution in case there is some truth. Nonetheless, since inception, most of the Fasfik outlets had been robbed and my equipments damaged by parang-wielding robbers and the MG was used to site visit most of my outlets.

I met the TTDI police chief and lodge a report. The district CID investigation officer also came and took my statement and is investigating both incidents. The CID found the van registered to a car workshop @ Damansara Uptown. By now, there would have made the arrest for further investigation especially since it involved guns.

TTDI neighbourhood including Penchala used to be a quiet and peaceful area. Now, we all must be careful when leaving home whether during daytime or at night. There is no better and safer place than home. Most of my guards at home are now armed. When there is no peace, we have to secure, protect our family, be strong and have faith that everything will turn out positive.


I am in my car again heading to Subang 2 to meet my vendor Petro Retail. It is not easy to write my blog at home or at the office with so much work to complete and so many discussions with my Head of Departments. Leslie is next to me directing Sanwa, my driver, to Petro retail office as I frantically glued on my Nokia E90 typing my blog. I reckon I have less than 15 minutes before reaching the destination.

Running is undoubtedly the best form of exercise to burn fat. Well not that I am looking into losing fat but since I started running constantly in the past 2 months, I have gone down from 74kg to 66kg, almost 15kg under-weight for my height of 5’11”.

Is that good? To be a good runner, we must keep our body weight light and to run a full marathon or ultra-marathon, having a light body weight is a good advantage but is that what I wanted? i wandered alone. No, I never wanted to lose weight. I was never overweight and it was never my ambition to be a good runner.

What inspires me to start exercising and running was my blood test result. With my ‘re-condition’ body, having gone through heavy doses of both chemotherapy and radiotherapy prior to the bone marrow transplant almost 20 years ago, it will be a matter of time before each of my internal organs collapse. Now, all my blood test results display high positive reading for cholesterol, glucose, uric acid, stone in the bladder etc. Typical and even parts of a 're-condition' car engine too will slowly collapse. I started my running, cycling and swimming as I turn 30, to maintain my fitness given all the negative blood test results.

Being dissatisfied with 66kg in weight, I ran away from running and focussed more in weight lifting for the past 3 weeks. An intensive weight training can increase my heart beat to a 90% max heart rate giving me enough training to improve my fitness level. Weight training had also improved my physique. My weight has increased to 70kg now. I have registered for the Adidas King of the Road 24km race on 10 August 2008 this coming Sunday and I have not been running for the past 3 weeks. The qualifying time is 2 hours and 30 minutes for the 24km race.

I asked leslie who looked bored beside me if he is ready for the Adidas race? Leslie and at least 9 of my other friends were supposed to run the Adidas race with me. Leslie said, my pa, Azhar failed to register Leslie, Sayf and Azlan in time before the closing date. They took too long to decide if they really wanted to participate. We.. me, nawal, abu, nita, Dato Fadzil, Datin azura and my sister Emi had registered earlier being overly eager to run the King of the Road race. We reached Petro Retail office and I am still half way through the blog post. Petro Retail is the authorised supplier for Facep, Italy car workshop equipments and is the only bumiputra company in the field.

After 2 hours of discussions with Kamarul, Petro Retail Managing Director, we left to the Soul’ed Out restaurant at Desa Sri Hartamas for a meeting with another vendor; Mohan from Shell. Yes, without exhausting my effort to post a blog regularly, I continued writing while Sanwa drove and leslie sitting quietly getting lost in thought.

To complete the Adidas King of the Road race within the time frame given, I need to train for distance and speed running which I will again go back to being 66kg without a good physique, except for being thin. I choose to maintain my weight above 70kg & physique and needed to do more weight training but I may not be able to complete the race within the qualifying time. I guess I will only find out this coming Sunday during the race. Good luck to me.

Contrary to whatever the health, muscle and fitness magazine writes, I do not believe in attaining both a good running distance and a muscular physique. It is an ‘either-or’ gain. A distance running will burn both fat as well as muscles and will make anyone too thin without a well built physique but both will increase fitness level. To those who seek to lose weight, ladies especially, don’t waste time and money at the gym and personal trainer; just invest in a good running shoe and start running. Believe me, it work wonders.


“Life is like a box of chocolate, we don’t know what we going to get”, a quote made famous by Forest Gump, one of my favourite movie acted by Tom Hanks. Truly, I love it when I pick a chocolate from a box to be delighted with a rich creamy chocolate with crispy hazel nut inside but was not amused when I picked another one to discover a bitter chocolate with yucky sour juice in the middle. Yes, it depends on preference but such is the similarity to life. We give it our best shot to get the favourite rich chocolate with hazelnut, but may end up being bitter. Some people call it luck but I call it fate. Luck is by incidental and fate is pre-determined by the almighty. I never believe in luck as I wondered alone being chauffeured driven for a meeting at Proton Edar.

Yes, I am test writing my blog using my Nokia Communicator E90. It has been almost a week since my last blog-post that used to be daily. I have so much to write but time is always against me. ya ya… nawal called it 'hot hot chicken shit’.. but really… okay, no more excuses. So I am forgoing my regular short nap in the car whilst travelling to meetings and appoinments to write my blog. I have 26 minutes before reaching Proton Edar head office.

Many people feel their success came from good luck or good feng shui or perhaps through following the great horoscope. There are also some, like my buddy Abu, who believed his success was generated from years of sheer hard work but there are also many who worked hard all their life and still far from reaching their goal. Either they are not fated yet for success or simply do not have any luck yet, they will have to be patient and never give up until they meet their fate or luck. So long as we do not give up in our effort, we will be rewarded with good luck or good fate whichever that we believe.

However, giving up is sometimes inevitable as we are all human. We may be drained or burnt out sooner than we expected and may just drop everything and blame it on bad luck or bad fate. That would be ironic.

To avoid burning or drained out, we need a good source of constant inspiration so that we can continue working towards achieving our goal or plan. Our life became a pack of batteries that always requires re-charging. A battery for love, another battery for career and a battery for health etc. When any of the battery is in low-battery (low batt), it requires re-charging.

A good health may disappear too when we are stressed and under pressure. When the health is in low-battery, a good source of recharging is through running. Daily running will keep the body fit and healthy. Similarly, in a relationship, if it is not constantly charged, it can be in ‘low-bat’ and may soon dropped dead or the relationship may break. If your luck or fate is good, the relationship may last longer but if you do not have any luck or the faith in each other suddenly disappear, it is time for re-charging. When we are in low-batt mode, scream to your spouse/partner that you are in low-batt and require re-charging. The source for re-charging may vary but usually, a good quality 30mins to 1 hour aday of chat, tlc or sex can do wonders. It did to me…. (I think… )

What is also important when in low-batt is our religious faith. It has been almost two years now, since I performed my pilgrims and yes.. I was also in low-batt. From an occasional monthly gathering with Dr Juanda, volunteered by each group members taking turn hosting, our group had decided to meet every fortnightly. Dr Juanda was previously Sabah Deputy Mufti who guided us when we were performing our pilgrims in Mekah. One of our group member, Dato Fadzil had volunteered his company's training centre for as our fortnightly gathering point and Dr Juanda had agreed to visit KL from Sabah for every gathering. Without these gatherings, I may drifter farther away and is always in low-batt! These gatherings is a good source to re-charge my religious faith even before in low-batt mode.

We will be in the ‘low-batt’ mode at some point in life and it is best if we can identify the source to constantly recharge ourselves before the battery is dead. I arrived at proton edar in time for my meeting but I have forgotten how to email this my blog to post it. sigh.. I guess, I can only post it later………………
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