So excited were the men every time this topic is spoken and very agitated were the women. Let us not bring religion into polygamy or infidelity as a lot of people will suddenly become the master in this topic… interpreting what the Quran says to their benefit! For that reason let us just define any other relationship with other partner besides the spouse as being engaged in infidelity.
I sipped my 3rd cup of coffee for the day and decided to blog this thought principally because it is a topic of general interest. Infidelity exists in both men and women. But Man is generalised as a bastard because generally infidelity relates more to MEN simply because Men are egoistic, emotional and less sensitive.. and stupid.. dating their girlfriends in the public without any concern of being spotted. Women are equally similar but they are more careful in hiding their activities away from the public (even away from their best friend’s knowledge). Hence, there are more known cases of men’s infidelity than women.
I was lost in thought as I ponder the fate of my friend whom arrived home a day earlier from his outstation meeting to discover his wife in bed with another man. My previous contractor, whom converted and is still a good muslim, went through similar heart breaking predicament to personally witness his wife in bed naked with another man. Vice-versa, recently, another friend discovered her husband playing truant.
But what leads to infidels….? Men cheat for various reasons, the norm being for ‘varieties’… which many men actually PAY akin of going to supermarket to buy the milk rather than buying a cow to get the milk sort of speak. This is a different breed of men and usually does not harm or cause any distress to the spouse or friends… of course the spouse should never find out ;-). It’s the men or women with the cow(s) for the milk that usually drives through the signboard that reads ‘destruction’… or does it? I was privileged to be invited to a Raya open house recently, where the spouse of the host, introduced the second wife to the guests. It is indeed a rare occasion. The wife chose the second wife for the husband after 3 miscarriages to bear the husband more children.
A child can be a noble reason to exercise polygamy for men but men who were or are engaged in infidels usually discounted the possibility of their women too can be unfaithful. It is almost without condition that women must accept and forgive their spouse polygamy or infidels or risk spending the rest of her life in court battle when their man refuse to divorce her (for not accepting his polygamy or infidel affairs) or fighting for child’s custody. On the adverse… if the woman was unfaithful, it is almost pre-requisite that NO man will ever forgive and accepted her…. or risk being labelled as ‘DAYUS’… So funny how life is.
Pondering from the surroundings, without interpreting what the religion says or without any reference to gender, we should just be guided by the old saying.. “Do unto others what we want others to do unto you”. Be unfaithful if we can accept our partner to be unfaithful too.. otherewise, be good! ;-)